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March 28, 2010
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Krogan is the war-loving species in the Mass Effect universe. Here is a list of all the pros and cons of being an ass-kicking, don't-look-at-explosions-awesome krogan that I could come up with!

Pros:
Twilight-fans get shot on sight, and none of your species are a fan of it.

Practically any stupid member of your species ends up dead.

You don't go to jail for killing said stupid person.

Your heart's crushed? How nice of you to have secondary organs.

Your body is built to withstand just about anything.

Your cells regenerate faster than humans put on socks.

You have no need for socks.

Your culture is your gun.

Your body can completely block out pain and send you into a fury made of legends.

Anything other than bone-crushing metal is not appreciated. [citation needed]

Killing your boss is a legitimate way to get a promotion.

You can break Nick Jonas' entire body by just stepping on him.

You can also crush Zac Efron's face by headbutting him.

Your friends have no problems killing someone for you.

You have no problems killing someone for your friends.

Although you most likely won't die of age, you can reach over a thousand years old.

Say what you want; there's no point being polite and no point lying.

That one asshole at Starbucks who you think spat in your coffee? You can kill him and
no one of your species will look at you like you're a psychopath.

Your entire life comes down to killing and fucking.

If you actually impregnate a fertile female, only 2 of 1,000 offspring survive. (Try paying
child support for a thousand)

Only you are strong enough to pummel a giant insect queen into the muck and blowing its head wide open.

Only you and your species would find this not only extremely impressive, but extremely attractive.

If you feel like it, your mouth is big enough to bite of Miley Cyrus' head and swallow without chewing.

You can eat EVERYTHING. Don't worry about it fucking up your insides, you have backups.

Cons:
Your species is essentially fucked; only 2 out of 1,000 survive birth

You might not even SURVIVE birth, odds are really against you there.

Becoming a scientist for any other reasons than to create explosives will get your ass kicked.

Becoming an award winning author of grippingly emotional tales will get your ass kicked.

Writing Twilight will get your ass killed. (which is a pro for everyone but Stephanie Meyer)

Reading Twilight will get your ass killed. (which again, pro for us)

Day-to-day survival is a luxury.

You have no place in galactic society other than being muscle for someone.

Your planet is nothing but ruins and every single animal on it is out to eat you.

Drawing hilarious comics with a satirical touch will get your ass kicked.

Breathing will eventually, get your ass kicked.

Betrayals are common and happen around every turn.

You may have to shank your father.

You're not allowed up on the fancy schmancy Presidium on the Citadel; you're considered a security risk.

Asari strippers will not hit on you.

Having the voice of an angel will not only get your ass kicked, but mouth sewn up too.

Your social cues are lethal or extremely damaging to other species.

If you die of age, you will get your ass kicked posthumously.

You will get your ass kicked. No exceptions.

That's it!
:icontherandomnessdude:
Krogan is my favorite species in the Mass Effect universe. It's Krogan even in plural, like sheep ain't sheeps.

Mass Effect wiki article: [link]

Enjoy!
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:iconhunterkiller762:
When it comes to being shot on sight, do bronies fit in that category? My brother is one and I want to scare him
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:iconnnnn11112:
its GOOD TO KNOW BECUSE I IZ KROGAN <in mass effect>
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:icontherandomnessdude:
Your mother must be proud. That you survived birth, that is.
Reply
:iconnnnn11112:
lol but i had to KILL MY DAD WITH A FUCKING TOOTHPICK
Reply
:icontherandomnessdude:
How do you kill a creature with secondary organs when you cannot even pierce his skin with the toothpick?
Reply
:iconnnnn11112:
it was made of krogan hard head skin < skin by my dead bros
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:icontherandomnessdude:
That still doesn't make sense, as it'd be too thin and fragile to pierce someone, my friend.
Reply
:iconnnnn11112:
well that was a wep i used i used to kill him was a broken knife
Reply
:icontherandomnessdude:
Alright, I don't quite understand, but I'm happy you had fun doing it, I guess!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconnnnn11112:
ok THATS GOOD TO KNOW
Reply
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